---------------------------------------------------------------------- FAMILY AFFAIR: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- EPISODE GUIDE BUFFY The ideal bachelor existence of globe trotting Bill Davis and his butler French is thrown into turmoil when Davis' two orphaned nieces and nephew descend on the household. JODY AND CISSY Dismayed at the prospect of caring for three children, Uncle Bill decides to send Cissy away. THE GIFT HORSE The twins find the perfect gift for Uncle Bill, the man who has everything - a broken down handsome horse. THE MATTER OF SCHOOL Cissy thinks Uncle Bill is trying to get rid of her when he enrolls her in boarding school. MARMALADE French is astonished at how much attention he attracts when he endorses a brand of marmalade. ROOM WITH A VIEWPOINT When Cissy gets her own telephone, Buffy is so unhappy that Uncle Bill suspects a bad case of jealousy. MRS. BEASLEY, WHERE ARE YOU? French accidentally knocks Buffy's prized doll, Mrs. Beasley, over the apartment railing and sets off a frantic search. WHO'S AFRAID OF NURAL SHPENI? What French thinks is merely a cooking lesson, turns into his betrothal to a Lebanese girl. A MATTER FOR EXPERTS A child psychologist, Dr. Morse, suggests that the twins be separated to develop their personalities, but Buffy and Jody resist. BEWARE, THE OTHER WOMAN Cissy's cynical chum tells her that Uncle Bill's glamorous girl friend is trying to trap him into marriage. TAKE TWO ASPIRIN Garbled communications make Uncle Bill panicky about what's going on while he's away from home. LOVE ME, LOVE ME NOT Jody thinks Uncle Bill doesn't love him enough to punish him, so he does his best -- or worst -- to earn a spanking. THE THURSDAY MAN Cissy uncovers some secrets about French when she sets out to write a composition about him for school. think deep Cissy gets a crush on her psychology teacher, who proceeds to upset the household with his theories. HARD HAT JODY Uncle Bill tries to track down an elusive millionaire unaware that Jody has already made friends with him. THAT WAS THE DINNER THAT WASN'T Uncle Bill can't understand why Cissy won't tell him what's troubling her. ALL AROUND THE TOWN Buffy and Jody find a $20 Bill and travel all around the city trying to find the owner. ONE FOR THE LITTLE BOY French is called away unexpectedly and provides his brother Nigel French as a substitute gentleman's gentleman. FANCY FREE While Uncle Bill is busy dating a new girl friend, the twins turn for help with their mathematics homework to a friendly window washer. A HELPING HAND A once-wealthy woman, now poor, asks French to show her how to be a good housekeeper, but is so inept she disrupts his perfect household. ONCE IN LOVE WITH BUFFY Uncle Bill, believing it's best for the children, reluctantly agrees to let their Aunt Fran take the twins. BALLERINA, BUFFY Buffy thinks she's to be sent away to be a dancer, so she sets out to sabotage her ballet class recital. THE MOTHER TONGUE French, showing off his ability to speak Chinese, unwittingly insults the daughter of a Chinese diplomat. EVERYBODY NEEDS SOMEBODY French thinks the twins want to get rid of him when they try to interest him in Miss Faversham. THE WAY IT WAS Annoyed at the noise the twins make, Uncle Bill jumps at the chance to send them away to camp. ALL NEPHEWS ARE CREATED EQUAL Nigel French is shocked when his nephew, visiting from England, announces he's not going to follow the family of being a manservant. THE PRIZE The twins win a lamb in a contest and become so attached to it that Uncle Bill is afraid to tell them they can't keep it. WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE WEST, UNCLE? A rodeo cowboy fascinates Buffy and Jody so much they want to spend all their time with him. THE AWARD The twins develop an allergic itch and Uncle Bill thinks it's because he's too severe with them. THE BUTLER METHOD Cissy has no date for a big dance but Uncle Bill gets a surprise when he asks a movie-star friend to be her escort. BIRDS, BEES AND BUFFY Uncle Bill and Mr. French find that the old stork story is for the birds and bees. FIRST LOVE Uncle Bill and Buffy share romantic troubles -- he with a lady geologist and she with the object of a bad case of puppy love. GO HOME, MR. FRENCH French is urged by a former girlfriend to return to his old job with her employer, the Duke of Glenmore. ARTHUR, THE INVISIBLE BEAR Jody announces he has an invisible bear name Arthur and uses his imaginary playmate as an excuse to misbehave. THE OTHER CHEEK When an older girl bullies Jody at school, he has a terrible time obeying Uncle Bill's order that he's never to hit a girl. THE CANDY STRIPER Cissy and Buffy get what they want - Cissy becomes a hospital volunteer and Buffy joins a brownie troop - but have to pay for it. FAT, FAT, THE WATER RAT An unemployed workman thinks Uncle Bill needs money because of the ragged clothes Buffy wears. THE TOY BOX Uncle Bill lays down tough rules for the twins on leaving their toys around and for Cissy on the length of her hemlines. TAKE ME OUT OF THE BALL GAME Jody is invited to try out for the neighborhood ball team, but it's Buffy who turns out to be the star player. YOU LIKE BUFFY BETTER The children compete for Uncle Bill's attention, leaving him no time to himself. FREDDIE Freddie comes to visit Bill and falls in love with the children. Having none of her own, she finally realizes that she and her husband could adopt. OUR FRIEND STANLEY The twins meet a crippled boy whose over-protective mother thinks Jody is too rough a playmate. SOMEBODY UPSTAIRS A brassy Broadway musical star interests stage-struck Cissy and Buffy in show-business careers. TAR DUST A movie star is ready to give up her career if Uncle Bill will marry her. BEST OF BREED The twins are heart-broken when the apartment manager won't let them keep a mongrel that follows them home. FAMILY REUNION Uncle Bill takes the children back to Indiana for a family reunion and runs into a determined bid by Aunt Fran to have them stay with her. A MAN'S PLACE An old friend of French's persuades him to quit his job with Uncle Bill and open a restaurant. THE GREAT KOW-TOW An elderly Chinese man gains a new interest in life when he makes twins Buffy and Jody his "adopted grandchildren." THE FISH WATCHERS Bill is playing detective on his own company when he discovers thefts on the big construction site. THE DAY NOTHING HAPPENED With French out of town, Uncle Bill has to look after the children on a snowy Sunday and runs into sheer pandemonium. A HOUSE IN THE COUNTRY Uncle Bill thinks city life is bad for the children, so he arranges to buy a house in the country. A MATTER OF TONSILS Uncle Bill and French, upset when Buffy has to have her tonsils out, ignore Jody's report that he has a sore throat, too. MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY French is hurt because he thinks Cissy has left his picture out of a school art exhibit of drawings. HIS AND HERS When Uncle Bill meets an attractive widow who has three children of her own, his family immediately and eagerly starts to matchmake. THE NEW CISSY Beautiful models advise Cissy on a glamorous new hairdo and wardrobe. THE FAMILY OUTING Uncle Bill takes the family on a camping trip, but he and Jody are the only ones who have a good time. MR. FRENCH'S HOLIDAY French unexpectedly becomes a nanny in the old west when the children join him on his vacation in a frontier town. THE BEASLEY STORY Mrs. Beasley's arm is broken, she is rushed to the doll hospital for repairs and the twins use her "illness" as an excuse to misbehave. THE BABY SITTERS When the twins' babysitter is stricken ill, her father takes over the job but invites his poker-playing buddies to join him. FAMILY PORTRAIT Encouraged by his sympathetic girlfriend, Uncle Bill decides to give up his travels to spend more time with the children. THE LATCH KEY KID At the urging of a sophisticated school chum, Buffy announces she's tired of being treated like a baby and wants her own key. BY A WHISKER To prove he's daredevil enough to join a club of older boys, Jody is given a tough initiation test, he has to clip French's whiskers. A WALTZ FROM VIENNA Cissy falls in love with a sophisticated young man from Vienna and wants to get married, but Uncle Bill refuses to permit it. YOUR FRIEND, JODY Uncle Bill thinks Jody plays too much with girls and sends him away to a boys' camp on the advice of a boxer friend. THE SUBSTITUTE TEACHER A pretty substitute teacher has a strange effect on Jody, and Uncle Bill is sure it's a schoolboy crush. OLIVER The twins get permission to bring home their pal Oliver, who turns out to be a large dog that takes an instant and vicious dislike to Uncle Bill. CHRISTMAS CAME A LITTLE EARLY Uncle Bill arranges an early Christmas celebration for a critically ill girl from Buffy's class. THE UNSOUND OF MUSIC A glamorous nightclub singer tries to coach the tone-deaf Buffy for a place in the school glee club. ALBERTINE The twins are fascinated by Albertine, a shy little girl who tells fascinating stories about her father and beats French at chess. A MATTER OF CHOICE Uncle Bill worries about modern influences on the children after he meets a super-sophisticated chum of Cissy's and sees what rough-house games the twins play. CIAO, UNCLE BILL Uncle Bill plans to marry a beautiful Italian in Rome, and the twins are sure it means a breakup of the family. A NANNY FOR ALL SEASONS When his fellow valets look down on his duties as a nanny, French contemplates marriage as a way to prove his status. FAMILY PLAN Laid up by a broken leg, Uncle Bill is all but overwhelmed by tender loving care as the children insist on nursing him. TO LOVE WITH BUFFY Afraid he's been neglecting Buffy, Uncle Bill takes her to Puerto Rico for a grown-up holiday at a plush resort hotel. A FAMILY GROUP The jet set daughter of a famed theatrical team puzzles Cissy by wanting to spend so much time with Uncle Bill's family. A LESSON FOR GROWN-UPS When Uncle Bill faces a financial crisis that could break up the family, the children take emergency action to earn money. OH, TO BE IN ENGLAND French and the children are overjoyed at the prospect of spending a year in England with Uncle Bill, unaware that he won't be with them. A MATTER OF PRIVACY When a school chum of the twins shows them how to eavesdrop on private conversations with a small tape recorder, French and Cissy are the victims. LOST IN SPAIN (PART 1 OF 3) Uncle Bill , Mr. French and the children to go Spain. (part 1 of 3). LOST IN SPAIN (PART 2 OF 3) Mr. French loses the twins while sightseeing. (part 2 of 3). LOST IN SPAIN (PART 3 OF 3) Uncle Bill frantically searches the Spanish countryside, the missing twins take refuge with a peasant couple on an isolated farm. (part 3 of 3). A DILLER, A DOLLAR Told that boys don't like smart girls, Buffy deliberately sets out to get poor grades to attract a little boy she likes. THE YOUNG MAN FROM BOLIVIA Jody is jealous of the attention given his pen-pal, a little boy from Bolivia who comes to visit. SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, MR. FRENCH A pretty young girl pursues French and he in turn begins to take a romantic interest in her. THE FLIP SIDE Cissy has trouble with romance when she dates a teenage singing idol, and he forgets about her when he goes off on tour. THE MATTER OF DIGNITY French is the target of poison pen letters accusing him of being involved in a scandal with a young girl in England. FLOWER POWER Cissy envies the freedom of hippies she meets through a boy friend and wants to leave home to join the flower children. MY MAN, THE STAR French stars as Henry VII in a movie made by a cheap underground film producer. NO UNCLE IS AN ISLAND Uncle Bill's plans for a quiet weekend at home with a good book fail to get off the ground when a stream of unwanted visitors takes over. THE WINGS OF AN ANGELS An ex-convict recently released from prison goes to Uncle Bill for help in finding a job. UNCLE PRINCE CHARMING Cissy's teenage friend gets a monumental crush on Uncle Bill and announces that they are "practically engaged." CISSY'S APARTMENT Cissy moves away from the family into an apartment of her own but encounters an entirely new set of problems. THE JODY AFFAIR Jody is accused of breaking a window in his school's cafeteria and is suspended when Uncle Bill - believing Jody is innocent - stands on principle and refuses to pay damages. WITH THIS RING Cissy and Greg become "engaged" after they see their friends all about them getting married. WHAT'S FUNNY ABOUT A BROKEN LEG Buffy breaks her leg and misses a night at the circus, but the Davis family bring the circus to her. THE BIRTHDAY BOY Buffy and Jody learn about French's birthday and plan a party for him -- much to the discomfiture of the proper English gentleman. THE STOWAWAY Buffy and Jody "adopt" a runaway orphan boy - without the knowledge of Uncle Bill or French -- and conceal the lad in the apartment. NUMBER ONE BOY French submits his resignation after the number one boy who served Uncle Bill in Hong Kong arrives in new York and starts taking over operation of the household. A TALE OF TWO TRAVELS Mr. French, Uncle Bill, Cissy, Buffy and Jody take a vacation to Boston and to a friend's house in Long Island, but it ends up as a total disaster. MAUDIE Lady Marchwood, a wealthy English widow offers her hand to Mr. French. GOODBYE HAROLD Despite Buffy's attentions, Harold, her pet hamster, runs away during an outing in the park. THE GIRL GRADUATE Cissy plans to stay out all night after graduating from high school, and Uncle Bill and French are uncertain how to cope with her new maturity. GRANDPA, SIR The grandfather the children have not seen for five years and whom they scarcely remember pays a call on Cissy, Buffy and Jody. MAROONED Mr. French, Buffy and Jody are marooned in a blizzard while driving to Vermont to meet Uncle Bill. MR. OSAKI'S TREE When a miniature tree given to Jody begins to die, Jody fears the donor will die as well. THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE Uncle Bill enlist the aid of a doctor to help a handicapped child befriended by Buffy. THE INHERITANCE Buffy and Jody inherit a small sum of money and learn that being "rich" creates new problems for them. THERE GOES NEW YORK A television seer predicts New York will be inundated by a massive tidal wave, and Uncle Bill must reassure Buffy and Jody. WOULDN'T IT BE LOVELY Buffy and Jody, inspired by a child with wealthy and permissive parents, persuade Uncle Bill to suspend the house rules. THE BOYS AGAINST THE GIRLS Buffy is fired from the Tigers' stickball team because the new captain is a woman-hater. THE OLD COWHAND A client of Uncle Bill's firm, a one-time western film idol whose old movies are seen on television, visits the Davis home at Uncle Bill's request when attempts to teach Jody an object lesson fail. ANGEL IN THE FAMILY French asks Bill to speak to a producer about an old family friend from England who is trying to break into the theater. FAMILY IN PARADISE (PART 1 OF 2) The children and Mr. French join Uncle Bill in Tahiti, where he is working on a construction project, and all their lives are touched by the dramatic change of scene. (part 1 of 2). FAMILY IN PARADISE (PART 2 OF 2) Bill Davis proposes marriage to Janine Perrier, an attractive French girl in Tahiti, and the Davis clan must decide whether to make a permanent move or not to the island. (part 2 of 2). THE GOOD NEIGHBORS Buffy is shocked at the lack of friendliness between the tenants in their apartment building after she and Jody watch how they behave toward each other in the elevator. DESERT ISLE - MANHATTAN STYLE Mr. French phones Uncle Bill in Chicago for permission to visit his cousins in Washington and Bill say's it's okay so long as Cissy is there to look after Buffy and Jody overnight. EASTWARD HO Chinese restaurateur Eng Ho tells Uncle Bill his 18 year-old-bride-to-be Ming Lee will arrive in town the next day and Bill insists she stay with his family until the wedding. MEET EMILY Emily turner, the charming woman in Uncle Bill's office, tells him she'd like to find a way out of working nights and he offers her a daytime job helping French around the apartment a few days each week. THE RETURN OF MAUDIE With the horse of a friend the favorite in the international cup race, its owner, Lady Marchwood, comes to New York to watch and spend some time with Mr. French, who knows her best as barmaid Maudie. IT CAN'T BE FIVE YEARS Instead of coming home where a surprise party awaits him in celebration of the fifth anniversary of the arrival in New York of Cissy, Buffy and Jody, Uncle Bill goes direct from his office to catch a flight to Washington on business. TRAVELS WITH CISSY Bill takes the entire family with him to Hollywood on his business trip to try to get Cissy away from the notion of a too-sudden thought of marrying Greg, but he's not sure it was a good idea when she immediately falls for a western movie star. STAMP OF APPROVAL Jody starts wooing a girl, which everyone thinks is abnormal for a nine-year-old boy. Uncle Bill discovers Jody wants a particular stamp from this little girl for his own stamp collection. AND BABY MAKES EIGHT Cissy brings home a married, pregnant friend from college who's husband is in Viet Nam. Bill says okay since the baby isn't due for four to six weeks. The baby ends up arriving that night. SAY UNCLE Jody gets into a "my old man can lick your old man" dilemma - Bill refuses to go to the park, but the other boy's father shows up and calls Uncle Bill a coward. CLASS CLOWN Bill meets a comedienne at a convention in Denver and asks her out on a date when she comes to New York. UNSINKABLE MR. FRENCH Everything builds up to French losing his cool; he falls in the park; Jody gets paint on his pants; Bill brings a last minute guest home to dinner, etc. WISH YOU WERE HERE Uncle Bill takes the children back to Indiana to learn about their deceased parents. FEAT OF CLAY A female friend of Bill's gives him a piece of pre-Colombian statuary from Mexico. The kids do not realize its value and take it to school for show and tell. HEROES ARE BORN Jody meets a pro-football player's nephew and then the boy and his Uncle are invited to dinner with the Davis'. NOBODY HERE BUT US UNCLES In a nature lesson about birds the kids learn that the mother and father bird shoo the kids. Buffy and Jody start to worry about Uncle Bill being left alone and try to set him up with their teacher. TOO LATE, TOO SOON Emily plays matchmaker for Miss Faversham and French, Jim Turner drops by the Davis' home to see his mother, Emily and falls for Cissy. THE LITTLEST EXILE Jody starts to play with a new boy in the park, whose "mother" acts very mysterious and won't let Johnnie really play. PUT YOUR DREAMS AWAY Cissy meets an old flame from her Indiana high school, on his way to the Peace Corps in Chile. THE JOINERS Everyone belongs to a club except Buffy! Bill builds the "mod maidens" a club house so Buffy will be invited to join their club, as a bribe. CINDER-EMILY Emily turner tells Cissy she's not going to attend her son's medical school graduation ball because it's her bingo night but Buffy and Jody find out it's because she doesn't have an escort. GOODBYE, MRS. BEASLEY Buffy bids a wistful farewell to her doll, Mrs.. Beasley, after she is persuaded by an older girl that she is too old for such things. BUFFY'S FAIR LADY Angela, a chubby, unhappy little girl, is in "love" with Jody and follows him everywhere, but to no avail. YOU CAN FIGHT CITY HALL Richie, a poor Mexican boy can't play with Buffy and Jody because he has to care for his baby brother.